Falling Again
by Clarissa Hunter
Summary: What would you do if the person you loved the most and tried to hate just as much forgot you? Gralu/GrayLu Week Day 1: Cold
1. As She Woke

A place that cannot be described, words would not capture the absolute eternal feeling, and a picture could not replicate or capture the beauty of this scene. It would have to be seen and felt for you to understand, only a world of colour. A living soul drifting between worlds, between Heaven and Earth. A girl almost dead, but still wanting to live, she drifted lifelessly through the world of colour, not remembering her life before, but knowing she wanted to go back.

There were times when she could hear a name being called, when the male voice would talk as if he had someone talking back. Sometimes she liked listening to that voice, but always wondered, who was the voice talking to? Sometimes the girl faded; sometimes she became clearer, but never fully transparent or fully solid. One day the blonde girl looked at herself, white skin, blonde hair, brown eyes, and a scar running from her jaw to the corner of her forehead, straight through her eye.

"Who am I," the girl asked aloud not expecting anything from her land of colour. Although she loved this land of colour as the home she never knew, it seemed like an eternity, maybe it was or maybe it wasn't, but to her the girl longed for companionship. Of course that wish didn't come true, making the girl more sad and lonely. She dealt with it wandering in the world of colour finding, new places to look at, new colours, and overall nothing that mattered to her, in the end everything just blended together. On a special day, she remembered something, "You are everything I've ever wanted, and that's why I love you. Because for me you're all I'll ever need." When it wasn't helpful to finding out who she was in any way, but the words were such a bittersweet musing on love, a confession of love but something like a goodbye, Lucy couldn't help but feel attached to them, and that they were important in some way. During a time she was able to sleep she had a dream, a brief dream of dark blue eyes, eyes that made her melt on the inside. The same words were said during the dream, a man's voice saying them in a loving tone, the sound making her feel safe, warm, and home... She was crying when she woke up and they weren't tears of solely sadness or just happiness, but in that moment she knew what bittersweet meant. The feeling of knowing, loving, but not able to reach it, a tantalizing feeling of want and of love.

One day, a blue haired girl came to the land she had stayed in for what seemed to be an eternity, she was crying. She walked over to her wary, but not as guarded as she could have been.

"Hello," the girl whispered.

The blue haired girl looked up with a shocked expression and as she saw the girl who had talked to her she was even more surprised. She finally stuttered out "L-L-L-L-Lucy!?" The blond gave her a questioning look before the blue haired girl said "Does Lucy not recognize Juvia?" Looking over Juvia again, the blonde girl shook her head. Looking at the blonde girl sadly, Juvia said "Lucy you need to go back, Juvia needs you to go back, so that Juvia can let go." The blonde girl was confused by the person in front of her talking in a third person's perspective and amazed she had a name now, all of this led to Lucy nodding dazedly. Smiling at Lucy Juvia fully solidified and with her last words of "Please save Gray," she then burst into little orbs of light.

After the lights fully disappeared, Lucy found she was disappearing. She panicked to tell you the truth, and stood up only to find she couldn't because her legs had disappeared. When she went to scream, she couldn't her throat was still there but her voice was gone. Officially creeped out now, Lucy just gave up and let herself fall into nothing-ness.

Waking up was to white walls, white beds, white metal, and white people, all with the added brightness of bright, white lights. There were shadows of gray and black, but the world remained colourless otherwise. With that panic ensued, panic that caused Lucy to sit up and stir the person next to her, only in the next second or so to fall back onto the bed, spots of colour filling her vision. When her sight was taken away Lucy panicked even more and to started to struggle both physically moving and mentally struggling against the bonds on her memories. Why she was struggling against the memory bonds at that moment Lucy had no idea.

"Shhh Lucy, calm down," A calm and gentle male voice said, cold hands covered Lucy's eyes and she calmed down a bit.

I'm scared she thought, unable to speak.

"It's alright," He whispered into her ear, by now Lucy's vision was gone, but she had calmed down completely and could finally focus enough to know what was going on around her. Lucy could finally feel someone leaning over her saying Lucy over and over; it calmed her down more because the voice sounded the same as the voice which originally calmed her down, although despite the feeling of calm she got from the voice the voice itself was panicked. Feeling her lips turn into a faint smile and her eyes fill with tears for reasons unknown to her, Lucy fell calmly into nothing-ness once again.

Awake once again Lucy sat up and saw colour once again, with that colour was a man on the far side of the room immediately thinking of the dream she had in the colourful world, the bittersweet words and the loving eyes. The man was looking away from her, spiky black hair facing her way, but when he finally looked towards her and their eyes met Lucy heart felt a twang of pain after skipping a beat. It was scene out of an anime (Ah the bad jokes), except they were inside so there wasn't a breeze but when their eyes met it was magic, meant to be, fireworks flew. A moment of seeing each other's eyes and Lucy felt something eat at the corner of her mind, a memory. A memory of a scream, a crash, and a sobbed name...a name said to the man looking at her, he had a half shocked, a quarter happy, and finally a quarter...well a quarter of something dark, something Lucy was unsure of, something like malice. This is the man Juvia wanted her to save? He's Gray?

"Lucy," Gray said walking over, for a second he was close enough to kiss her, she half expected him to, but all he did was push a red button by her head saying into the little mike "She's awake." Letting out a breath he had been holding, he awkwardly said "You're finally awake." Lucy nodded and Gray, well Gray just stared as if it was a dream, a hallucination, and somewhere in those eyes it felt like there was a part of Gray that had thought it was a nightmare. Lucy felt hurt for some reason, she didn't think she would care since all she really knew about him is that Juvia told her to save him, but really Lucy felt like she was the one who had to be saved from the tortured and mysterious gaze of the man in front of her. The gaze from earlier, his eyes...not only give her a weird sense of danger, but whenever he looked at her, Lucy felt hot, consumed by the heat, and not in love, but she felt a longing, a pull that she was unable to ignore. It always surfaced whenever that gaze was cast upon her, and really the pull, the feeling of longing was what scared her the most.

"Well Lucy how do you feel," Gray asked filling the silence that had ensued after the last thing he had said.

Lucy opened her mouth, but nothing came out, still trying to speak she struggled, and still nothing came out no matter how hard she tried. With a defeated expression she looked at Gray and could see him not mirroring the expression, but wearing an expression that said "figures". Anger bubbled up inside her and a glare surfaced, causing Gray to let out a sarcastic laugh, then said "Figures that you lost your 'angel like' voice but kept that fierce fear inducing glare. That is so like you Lucy." Dropping her so called "fierce fear inducing" glare for a confused frown, Gray gave her a let me explain look and began an explanation "Let's just say that before you became like this-" Gray gestured to Lucy "You were a rising talent with an angel like voice, and when you were in a gang in high school, you were famous for bringing down gangs with that glare."

As soon as he mentioned gangs, Lucy self consciously touched the scar on her face, the scar she didn't know how she got it, but felt the importance behind it. Gray's eyes filled with pain when he saw where Lucy had put her hand, and with the look that landed on it, somehow she knew it wasn't because of gang life, or at least specifically because of that. Expecting for Gray to tell her how she got the scar, looking at him expectantly she waited and when he opened his mouth a red haired woman came rushing in. Out of breath, she looked up and seeing Lucy she began to cry, the tears turned to sobs as she ran up and hugged the blonde. Feeling the hug, memories came back, and seeing who Erza was to her she started crying and smiling, no sound coming out of her mouth, but sobbing in her own silent way.

Looking at Lucy's smiling yet crying face Erza pulled away, afraid she hurt her, but Lucy pulled her right back into another hug. "Lucy," the redhead sobbed into the blonde's shoulder, all the while Lucy rubbed Erza's back. When they both calmed down, Erza pulled away, Lucy smiled a dazzling smile, and Gray stood awkwardly in the corner like he had during the entire reunion. He was wondering how come Erza got such a warm welcome, while he well...he got nothing except a bunch of confused looks. No yelling, or since she was basically a mute right now no intense glares or ignoring, well at least not for the reasons he was thinking about, and basically just no nothing. But then he realized and laughed, laughed so uncontrollably loud it brought the girls out of their reunion. Gray stopped given Erza's fierce questioning look, he grabbed Erza's wrist dragging her out of the room.

"What is it," Erza hissed resentment towards Gray obvious right now.

"Lucy doesn't remember me," Gray said, completely serious.

"But she rem-" Erza began to say only to be cut off by Gray.

"You know what happened when we were in that car don't you? We were fighting; heck if she wasn't driving it would be a fucking fist fight!" Gray said, laughing darkly throughout it, "Then when she lost control of the car it was when I said something to her, and then she hid her face..." Another realization that happened in just a second "Aw hell she was crying-"

Erza had had enough, her face had darkened, and then she growled out "What, did you say Gray?"

"I don't-"

"You know exactly what you said, and you knew exactly what you were saying at the time. So how about you say it again, say what you told my friend when you broke her heart!"

"I told her," Gray said pausing for a minute "I told her about how I had cheated on her. How she shouldn't care because she was already fucking her band mate right? Natsu was it? Then I broke up with her-" He was then interrupted by Erza punching him in the face.

"What the hell Gray!? What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you even think that? She loved you; she fucking loved you so much. She tried so hard to keep out of the lime light because you didn't like it, all that for a fucking bastard like you! What is your problem?" Erza screamed "She was going to take a break for you, she was so close to stardom, but she said she was going to take a break because you were getting more distant. She wanted to make sure you were okay. No wonder she doesn't want to remember you, when she willing to sacrifice her dream for you, first you break- no rip her heart apart (Him Cheating), stomp on it (Thinking that she was cheating on him), then break up with her, then you stop the only chance she had at getting both her heart and career back (He indirectly caused the accident). You can leave now."

Walking back into the room Erza left him speechless in the hallway.

* * *

Dear either faithful followers, curious new comers, or Gralu lovers,

I made it through the first day of Gralu/GrayLu week! I hope you guys liked not only my first ever Gralu week entry thingy, but the first chapter of Falling Again. I hope you get how (so far at least) I'm trying to portray Lucy as lost and Gray as cold or at least trying to be cold. Well yeah it's my first update in what? About a month, and I hope it's not as disappointing as the last thing I posted. Plus I'm not exactly sure whether this is close enough to 'cold' or not, sorry if it isn't. Well I don't think I there's much I can keep at so yeah, I'll try and finish this within Gralu/GrayLu week but I can't promise you anything sorry.

Sincerely the ever disappointing,

Clarissa Hunter xoxo


	2. As He Watches

Lucy was discharged the next day, mainly because she had woken up at 9:00am and everything physical had been fixed months ago. All they had to do was take a few short tests, let her rest a bit more, and then she was free to go, allowing Lucy to go home. What she wasn't expecting though was that she would be staying with Gray at his bachelor pad. The drive was awkward, Gray gaze, made her feel hot again and the confined space was not helping. Gray didn't have it much better, his eyes moved from the lips that were cherry red from Lucy biting them, and the torture Erza brought. What Erza apparently called clothes, and Gray called torture were a pair of extremely short shorts, and a tight shirt that showed every breath, every movement of her chest. Erza was surely torturing him for what he had confessed to earlier.

When the got there it wasn't much better, it was a mess, where there wasn't garbage there was clothing. "Do you have a guest room," Lucy asked quietly, sticking to the awkward mood.

Gray distracted let a silence pass before coming to his senses and finally answering "Um yeah-" another long pause, his hand went to his head running through his hair, a sign of anxiety, nerves, a guarded movement. "Um, you go straight down the hallway," gesture "stop in front of a blue door on the right," a point "then on the left there should be a grey door and that's the guest room."

Lucy nodded murmured a thanks and went on her way after murmuring a thanks. As she left, Gray sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. A memory surfaced, he remembered something, something Lucy had once told him to make his "worries fly away" and stop him from.

_They were sitting on the couch like a completely normal day, Lucy next to Gray head resting on his shoulder, while Gray had an arm around Lucy's shoulder, nothing was out of place, except Lucy kept on looking at Gray with this weird questioning feeling in her eyes, Gray ran a hand through his hair, uncomfortable with the silent, questioning atmosphere._

_Lucy said, or really made the triumphant sound of "Aha!"_

"_What," Gray had asked looking at her again with a somewhat annoyed expression._

"_Whenever you're uncomfortable or nervous, you always run a hand through your hair," Lucy said explaining._

"_I don't," Gray denied, fully aware that he indeed did do that._

"_Do too," Lucy replied effortlessly, this repeated a couple of times before Gray finally gave into Lucy's insisting protest to, his completely untrue denials._

"_Well maybe I do," murmured Gray, with a blush on his face, completely embarrassed that she had found out. _

_Lucy gave Gray a proposition "Well how about this, instead of that stupid hair thing you do, how about you kiss me to make the worries go away?"_

"_I don't see why not," Gray murmured into her ear, before kissing her._

Gray sighed at the memory, that was before they started fighting over everything, fights that he had started because of his insecurities. Suddenly Gray was pulled out of his reminiscing by a shriek of "I'm sorry," it was Lucy obviously, but why would she... OH SHIT! Lyon sometimes came over and as soon as the dots connected he ran towards the guest room, or at least the one had thought would be safe for Lucy.

As he arrived, he found exactly what he expected, Lyon and some pinkette in bed, shell shocked by Lucy's arrival and shriek. Lucy was in a similar state, frozen stiff, although her face was aflame with the blush caused by her embarrassment while the two in bed were just shocked.

"What the hell Lyon!? I told you white door, so that this won't happen. In fact I tell you specifically for that reason," Gray hissed glaring at Lyon with his entire being. Taking a deep breath, Gray calmed down to just below his breaking point. "Answer me this, are you colour blind?"

"Well, you see we were just in the heat of the moment so-" Lyon began to speak, quite distractedly before Gray spoke cutting him off.

"That's not what I asked you, are you colour blind?"

"No," Lyon said quietly. Sighing again Gray ran a hand through his hair, annoyed beyond the point he cared anymore.

When he spoke again, he was surprisingly calm for someone so pissed off "Okay Lyon get some clothes on," seeing him move from te corner of his eye, Gray held up a hand "After we leave the room, and then please 'kindly' escort your..." looking up at the woman and with a sort of unsure, grossed out tone he decide on the word "...date out or take your activities somewhere that isn't my property."

Lyon nodded and dragging Lucy behind him, Gray closed the door, then proceeding to head to the living room sitting Lucy down on a couch.

"Um...who was that," Lucy asked, looking at her lap, face still flushed and hot.

Gray rubbed the back of his head and sighed "No that was my step-brother Lyon, he prides himself as a Lady's man and that is the "fruit" of his efforts. It's quite disturbing really that he always decides it's a good thing to do in my house."

Lucy laughed a little and quickly hid behind Gray, chest pressed against his back, hands clutching his shirt, breathing softly on his neck, as the pinkette from before stormed out of the house slamming the door behind her. What happened next wasn't much better when Lyon walked out in a towel, drying off his hair with a smaller towel. Lucy hid her cherry red face in Gray's shirt on reflex. It was probably because she felt safe with him for some reason, she'd be embarrassed later or two seconds from now, but right now Lucy was acting on instinct and hidden memories. Plus if you think that was bad, Gray had it much worse being the one still in love with her, when he still has his memories. Gray had to fight melting back into what they were before, because not only did he not want to (At least he thinks that) wouldn't it be taking advantage of her?

While Gray fought against his urges and his heart's unacknowledged desires, Lucy on the other hand fell into the warmth, closing her eyes and breathing in a somewhat more relaxed manner, Lucy was basically the opposite of Gray right now. She was relaxed, he was fidgety; she melted into the feelings she didn't know she had, he fought with everything he had against the feelings he wanted to get rid of, and like the sun and moon with space, there was a thin string of connection, that connection being they both had the feeling of love for each other no matter what state it was in.

It took Gray a few seconds to regain his senses, not enough to make him pull away, but enough to give Lyon a scalding glare that gave him a vague yet a meaningful message. Basically along the lines of 'Get the fuck out and put some clothes on before I do something you'll regret', totally vague and indirect if you asked Gray in that moment. But yeah basically Lyon got the message and "scadaddled" out of that room, mainly to get away from Gray, partially to get some real clothes on. By the time that little moment was over, Gray had regained all of his senses and with that he pulled away from Lucy.

Lucy was immediately embarrassed as soon as she had realized what she had done. Blushing and looking away from Gray, she started inching away from the man she had just clung to. When Gray turned around to look at her his heart went and skipped a beat, even then he ignored the thumping of his heart and the blush that wanted to creep it's way up to his cheeks. His brilliant idea of an appropriate avoiding tactic was looking in north east sort of way. Hair covering eyes, the whole left-up look, and a heaving sigh, the whole thing really can either be taken as hiding embarrassment or being really angry. Most people who knew Gray would know this was him hiding his embarrassment, but seeing as Lucy didn't know him, right now, she took it as anger therefore leading the predicament to advance into Lucy looking distraught and having thoughts of 'He's angry with me' and the like.

So not the best start as roommates, not in the least. With a bite of her lip Lucy whispered "I'm just going to my room..." As she stood up, and began to walk Gray did nothing, stupid of him but he was still keeping up the 'cold' act. That was what he did, remained silent, calm, and still the whole time until she passed by him, that's when the inkling of feeling that was seeping out of his ice wall began to really show. The feeling had shown, unbeknownst to Lucy she just thought he need something or was being weird, when she passed him and Gray grabbed her arm. If Lucy had her memories she would know that this would happen when she would walk away from a fight with Gray and he would try and stop her from leaving. Instead of trying anything, anything at all he just gave the disappointing reaction of...

"Oh sorry."

An absolute idiot that one. Lucy looked at him a second more and then continued on, silently drifting to her room a slight ache in her heart.

(Cue Maroon 5's 'Makes Me Wonder', you can listen to the whole song, but for the next paragraph or two just play 0:49 – 1:05, I think the sound if not the lyrics really suit it well.)

But as he stood there his hand was still in a position that looked like he pulled away from something he didn't want to. Bringing the hand to his chest, Gray held that wrist with his other hand and with that he clenched the hand into a fist as if crushing the remaining memories. Letting one arm fall limply to his side, he brought up his opposite hand and brushed it through his hair and letting his head fall back so that he was looking at the ceiling he felt pain. Totally explainable, yet inconceivable pain and with that he let out that pain in a long, deep sigh.

(If you time it right it will mesh awesomely together so that when he sings 'So this is goodbye' you'll read 'with that he let out that pain in a long, deep sigh'. I think it kinda fits, do you?)

Letting his head down he saw Lyon walk in an _**almost**_ apologetic smile on his face and Gray will admit he almost growled at his step-brother/frenemie/unwanted roommate. Instead he sighed and gave Lyon a look and shook his head, with that he plopped down onto the couch. Lyon walked closer aware that he was on a tight rope right now, but he also knew if he knew how to walk across it he'd get to safe ground. "Soooo was that your supposed in a coma ex-girlfriend?" Apparently he didn't know how to walk across carefully.

Sighing again Gray looked over at Lyon with a glare and the ever so threatening remote in hand he basically spat the words out, gritted teeth not helping his case of not sounding angry and keeping calm and collected, "Yes that is my _**amnesiac **_ex-girlfriend, who to her was never my girlfriend."

Lyon almost fell over "Seriously she has amnesia like, Amnesia amnesia!?"

Gray almost didn't roll his eyes, I mean he was used to his step-fren-mate and his weird obsession with anime, but he did anyway probably the best thing he's done in the past fifteen minutes. "Yes Lyon Amnesia amnesia."

"Dude you're in deep shit." Lyon said this with an awestruck voice, mostly at the fact that an amnesia like thing was happening to his brother, was absolutely cool and totally unfair. "Yet the shit you're in is freakin' awesome."

Ignoring the second comment Gray sighed and muttered "I know Lyon, oh how badly I know."

* * *

And that Dear People is the end of chapter two of falling again,

Well I think this chapter was okay and since I have nothing really to say, I just had my first day and all I can say about that is "Kill me now." By the way story development wise I hope you could see what I was trying to get at, with Gray both with the flash back, and the song how he doesn't want to acknowledge his feelings for Lucy and while they're (As in the feelings) trying to get out, he's trying to cage them in. Also if you noticed it's more of a Gray chapter because I usually tend to stick with Lucy's feelings rather than her male partner and really this feels like my best Gray POV, even if he's not saying and it's really not his 'POV' per say, I think the feelings I wanted to give him got across really well this chapter. Well thank you for reading, for reviewing, if you review, and I hope you enjoyed it. Good Bye, Fare well, Au Revoir, and Bye Bye.

Yours Truly,

Clarissa Hunter xoxo


End file.
